Inspire | Love & Relationship

Being a Little Bit Clingy is Okay

Rabu, 30 Nov 2022 19:00 WIB
Being a Little Bit Clingy is Okay
Foto: Unsplash: Toa Heftiba
Jakarta -

A lot of people may know that being labeled as clingy in a relationship isn't exactly a title one can run around comfortably with. When you look up "being clingy in a relationship" on Google, the results would lean in a more dismissive and negative tone. However, despite the negative connotations, being clingy is actually not a bad thing. I'll tell you why.

Embracing clinginess is a way to surrender yourself to feel madly in love with someone. It gives people the permission to put all of their cards on the table—how one can show affection very loudly and unapologetically without erasing their authentic selves. Indeed, everyone has different needs for attention, affection, and time spent together, and for a lot of people, perhaps being clingy is just how they love and that's totally acceptable-there's nothing wrong in expressing them in a considerate amount.

It's natural to have the tendency to spend a lot of time with the person that means a lot to you, but it's also possible to take it too far—this is where clinginess gets bad. Clinginess can begin to cross the line from acceptable to unhealthy when the relationship starts to take too much time and attention away from other aspects of your life; like hobbies, friends, or alone-time.

Nobody wants to feel smothered in a relationship. Aside from wanting to constantly communicate with their partner, a clingy person would usually use the language of depowerment such as, "You have to..." or "You must..." For instance, "You have to tell me where you are," or "You must call me later at night," and so on. This type of clinginess may indicate that your partner might be exhibiting a behavior that is needy, dependent, anxious, obsessive, or even jealous.

Being extremely clingy is often a result of insecurity, self-doubt, and a lack of confidence in the relationship. For some people, the idea of being alone can be uncomfortable so they may cling to the other person as a way to avoid feeling lonely. So those who are clingy may think extreme thoughts and actions feel a lot like love and intimacy. But what they might not realize right off the bat is that those intense feelings are actually a ball of obsession with physical and mental closeness.

While I'm no expert in dating, this is what I've learned from my past relationships; just because someone doesn't want you the same way and thinks you're too clingy for them, doesn't mean everyone agrees with that and it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. Because to be quite frank, a degree of someone's clinginess is highly subjective. There are a lot of people out there who would love to be with a clingy lover, who thinks your level of clinginess is absolutely healthy and flattering. With that being said, you shouldn't settle for less than that.

You're an intense, passionate lover in need of that much attention and contact—what's wrong with that? You're in love, you want to make sure the person on the other end feels enamored with this thumping love—is it such a sinful thing to be? Being a bit clingy is fine if it's reasonable, healthy, and compatible with the person you're dating. It's okay when the both of you acknowledge that healthy balance between finding comfort or solace in your partner but still have time to meet the needs of their personal interest. Being clingy is not always a negative thing.

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