Inspire | Love & Relationship

Why Being "Picky" in Dating Is Totally Fine

Senin, 02 May 2022 18:00 WIB
Why Being
Foto: Anthony Tran/Unsplash
Jakarta -

"You're being too picky, no wonder you're still single." Perhaps this is something you frequently hear from people around you. Many singles are criticized for being "picky," yet this isn't always a bad thing. It can be wise to be "picky" sometimes, as long as it's not excessive.

When I say "picky", I don't mean checking all the checkboxes of criteria you have for your ideal future partner or relationship and being super strict about it. Let's define "picky" here as carefully and selectively evaluating a potential partner.

We are in the best position to identify what we require in a relationship since we know ourselves better than anyone else. While it's crucial to approach dating with an open mind, we should also be aware of what we're seeking for in a relationship and a partner. We can also decide what we will not compromise on. This does not imply that we are demanding or closed-minded. We have the right to our own ideals and values, as well as to honoring the things that matter the most to us, especially in a relationship.

However, we must be careful not to become excessively picky and avoid being overly selective for the wrong reasons. For instance, by solely dating or pursuing someone who is exactly what you want in a partner, we are eliminating all other viable possibilities. It could keep us from starting conversations with someone who has a lot of potential to be "the one." Understanding our standards is vital, yet we should also be open and welcoming.

Being "picky" about who we spend our time with could spare us a lot of grief over the years. Here's why we should sometimes be "picky" when it comes to relationships.

1. We don't waste our time
In the middle of our bustling lives, finding a partner, especially for long-term relationships, takes time and energy. By being "picky" when beginning a relationship, we can save time spent going out with people who aren't really right for us. We know ourselves and what seems right or wrong to us. It's critical to trust our instincts and to seek advice from our closest ones about our relationship. We have the right to leave a relationship at any moment if something feels off or if things just don't add up. So, if we're staying in a relationship for the sake of comfort or fear, or at the expense of our own happiness and future, don't settle.

2. Patience will pay off
Patience will eventually pay off; it will just take a bit longer for us to get to the right place. It's possible that it will take us longer to marry, start a family and have children, etc. However, learning to live without receiving what we want when we want it is a life quality that will serve us well.

3. Think long term, our values and preferences matter
In my view, we also need to emphasize the necessity of having shared values with our partners. Do not be afraid to ask the tough questions to see if our values and those of a potential partner are compatible-such as faith, family values or desire to have children, and work aspirations. Ultimately, if we want to have a healthy and committed relationship, we must support each other's values and viewpoints.

[Gambas:Audio CXO]



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