Inspire | Love & Relationship

How Falling in Love Makes You Stupid

Jumat, 10 Feb 2023 19:30 WIB
How Falling in Love Makes You Stupid
Ilustrasi jatuh cinta Foto: Unsplash
Jakarta -

Everyone knows that love is a wonderful thing that can bring happiness. When you fall in love with someone, you may not be able to stop thinking about your lover, and sometimes people would do anything for their lover. Being in love can also cause you to do silly things like skipping around, giggling, and acting giddy.

That's why many people think that love makes them stupid or that they can't think clearly when they are around their lover. The same also goes for me, as when I'm falling in love with someone, I can't distinguish between what is good and what is wrong. No wonder, sometimes it can hurt me later and cause regret. But why does this happen?

When You Fall in Love, Your Body Changes Physically or Mentally

Someone who falls in love with others may experience difficulty doing cognitive acts like multitasking or problem solving. This is because they spent too much energy and time thinking about their lover. As cited from Insider, Dr. Marni Feuerman, a licensed psychotherapist, has some answers on why exactly love makes you act silly.

She says, when people fall in love, they will experience a surge of hormones and neurotransmitters that make them feel good. "Such chemistry overrides our logical, rational thought. Which can lead you to do things you might not otherwise," stated Dr. Feuerman.

She also stated that science tells us that the chemical and hormonal changes are coded in our brains similar to addiction. That leads you to want more and more of that person. And so, while you might think you have fallen in love, maybe sometimes you might actually be feeling physical lust or infatuation.

"The early stages of meeting someone whom we are attracted to and with which we have intense chemistry can trick us into thinking we are in love this early on," she said. As stated by Harvard University, lust releases the hormones estrogen and testosterone; attraction releases dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine, and attachment releases oxytocin and vasopressin. When they are one, the part of the brain that regulates emotions will be a mess.

But the uniqueness   in the case of the euphoria phase   is that the relaxation effect that you get and feel from the serotonin will decrease and will be replaced with the obsession with the person you like consistently. Your heart may be pounding till you pant or shake along with the desire to be together with your lover.

Can Be Harmless or Destructive

For some people being silly in front of their lover will ruin the image that they build. But Dr. Fuerman thinks acting silly at the start of a relationship when things are fresh is when we get the biggest chemical surge. The more serious stuff comes next.

"For a relationship to survive, it has to get past this phase into a more stable and consistent phase. For this next phase to be successful, though, you should feel safe and secure within the relationship. You often do not feel this way in the beginning," she stated.

Acting silly in front of your lover can be harmless, but if this goes on for years in the relationship, it may potentially become a red flag. Dr. Feuerman says many people tolerate the bad behavior of their partner because of love. For example, some people who are in love may easily believe their partner when they caught their partner cheating on them. Because of love, they forgive their partner.

All in all, falling in love is not bad for you, but there are exceptions. "The only reason to be concerned is if the behaviors are damaging or you are being manipulated. It is also concerning if you take the serious step of marriage without being grounded about the relationship," concluded Dr. Feuerman.

The most important thing is, you can fall in love with anyone you like. Silliness always happens to everyone who's in love   but you should know your boundaries in being blinded by it or not. Don't let people hurt you just because of love.

[Gambas:Audio CXO]