TikTok is one platform that we often spend most of our time with, be it for seeking entertainment or gaining a lot of information. If before we have talked about the term "Daddy Issue," now we're moving to the "Pick-Me Girls" that has been circulating the internet, especially on TikTok. The videos created for this particular tagline are mostly girls imitating other girls, who they consider to have Pick-Me traits in a rather insulting way. The insults are most likely about girls trying to differentiate themselves from others with more feminine traits giving an "I'm not like other girls" statement.
"I think makeup takes too much time, I'd rather go natural."
"Thriller and horror movies are way better, romance movies are boring."
These two statements are only some of the statements that Pick-Me Girls often say to get attention from the opposite sex, at least that's the description given by the women. However, this phenomenon is considered an unhealthy competition for women to obtain distinctive impressions and compliments from men. Not to mention that it shows women's attempt for men's validation and supports the idea of rejecting feminine traits.
This intra-sexual competition between women takes two primary forms; self-promotion and competitor derogation. It can be said that there are two forms of competition in the "I'm not like other girls" part of women as they remote themselves to be different from the rest of the girls for being less feminine and might as well degrade other women who have more feminine traits. According to Canadian researchers, Maryanne Fisher and Anthony Cox, there are two additional tactics used in intra-sexual competition; mate manipulation and competitor manipulation. The Pick-Me girls manipulate fellow women as being less attractive than them for having usual feminine traits while they're promoting themselves to be different and belong to the men's society for having less feminine traits, such as hating makeup, romance movies, feminine clothing, and many more.
The arising "Pick-Me Girls" or "I'm not like other girls" sensation can't be detached from our society's condition that is still attached to internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny happens when women unconsciously project their sexist ideas on other women, even on themselves. Noam Shpancer Ph.D., a writer of The Good Psychologist book stated that patriarchy is associated with intra-sexual competition between women. Even though the Pick-Me girls think they're feminists, they are unaware that they're suffering under patriarchy. The reason why Pick-Me girls suffer under patriarchy is that they construct their personality, preferences, and appearance to be desirable for men, to be accepted by them, and to be one of them by limiting their true selves.
It's never a crime to have tomboyish traits due to so many things that could be enjoyed by both genders, but it's a problem if women offend other women only to get validation and attention from the opposite sex. Without having to be Pick-Me girls and degrading other women, we're all valuable in our ways.
(DIP/MEL)