Inspire | Human Stories

Hating Birthdays as We Get Older

Rabu, 23 Feb 2022 18:00 WIB
Hating Birthdays as We Get Older
Jakarta -

As kids, we used to enjoy celebrating birthdays. Whether it's eating Birthday cakes, receiving presents or feeling loved on our special day, the day we were born. As years go by, birthdays still feel necessary to some who have always enjoyed it. However, to some others, it no longer becomes a special day to celebrate, but it feels like another day that will eventually pass. The celebration of the day feels so unnecessary to do since there are many other things that require attention and be put as priority, hence celebrating birthday is no longer prioritized.

According to Lesley Russel, a clinical psychologist that specializes in depression and anxiety, birthdays represent milestones in some people's lives and that can be very challenging if they haven't achieved certain goals, expectations, or achievements at a certain age, be it realistic or even unrealistic ones. And the older we get, our attitude towards our actual birthdays feel like the opposite of being excited. Few days prior to our birthday feels like a time to reflect on how much we've grown since our last birthday, and the insecurity of the future usually appears during this period. Our relationship with birthdays tends to grow more and more complicated, as it feels surreal to reach a certain age.

The idea of feeling closer to death usually comes to the surface also, which makes us think how close we are to death with less time on earth. There are also other factors that can contribute to this birthday blues, such as social media, recalling happy moments on your earlier birthdays, and fewer well-wishers can make us insecure of how many actual people care for us. We tend to feel people are far more important than presents, although it is indeed still nice to receive them on special occasions. Unexpected wishes from friends that we haven't talked to in so long or not so close acquaintances will make us feel loved and cared for. The older we get, we only look for people we can talk to regardless of the topic and the quality of the conversation. It's a much better present to spend quality time with loved ones than presents that would only make happiness last a while.

Birthday blues can be tackled by simply doing small things that matter, such as having good breakfast, taking a day off from work just to not think for at least a day, appreciating the things we've achieved so far, keeping our expectations on low to prevent disappointment on our birthday, or even keeping ourselves occupied can be a good distraction rather than spoiling the day by having negative thoughts.

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