Inspire | Love & Relationship

In love -- From A Distance

Senin, 14 Mar 2022 18:00 WIB
In love -- From A Distance
Jakarta -

Years before the pandemic hit, I found myself meeting people on the internet that led to meeting them in real life. I expected some to be more than friends, but most of them turned out to be just friends instead. I let a complete stranger   far from my circle of friends   into my life. When online dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid and such emerge online in recent years, I am no longer interested since I've done that in the past. With dating apps nowadays believing in transparency and reducing the chance of its users being catfished, it's no longer an outlandish method to meet potential partners. Some of my acquaintances who met their spouse online, had a hard time coming up with a logical reason for how they met, got together and had to explain to their families of this whole new person coming into their lives. It's still a concept that is very hard to understand for the older generation, yet the current generation is far more open and understanding about it. It's no longer a thing that is frowned upon, unlike what I experienced years ago. Finding love is hard, especially in the time of pandemic, hence dating apps or however the ways to meet people online become a feasible choice for many who are stuck at home with not many real life interactions-regardless where they live.

People who have never been in an intense relationship built on the internet can be skeptical about how valid the relationship is. However, researchers anticipate that by 2035, more than half of people will have met the love of their life through dating websites or applications, since in 2021 at least one out of three people met their spouse through online dating apps. I just chuckle a little bit whenever I see friends being jittery meeting their online boyfriends in real life, after anticipating it for some time. It's funny indeed   seeing how they used to frown at me whenever I told them I was meeting someone online in real life months after talking to them online, and now they're doing the same thing. Some of them shared the same feeling I experienced back then, and would say things like, "I never met this person, but I feel this strong connection," or, "Is this feeling real? I've never seen him in real life." Not many people would understand that unless they've experienced that feeling   so complicated to describe but once you've felt it, it's indeed the real deal. It's not something that is up for discussion with people who have never experienced such a thing, especially ones who barely exist on the online dating sphere.

When it comes to being in love with someone online, there are so many things to consider. While some are lucky to have met them in real life or actually live closer and manage to maintain their relationship on the offline side, still there's an image we've built on the internet that is hard to deny. As much as we try to be our true selves on the online surface, somehow there's this persona we're trying to build unconsciously. Some people believe it is difficult to differentiate his/her real character from the persona on the internet. There are also those who meet people from places far, far away, or even abroad, and time differences inevitably become an issue to interact and have a real-time conversation at the same time. There's always an interval to reply to one another, or one of them sacrifices sleep to adjust to their partner's time. It's harder to maintain things, yet they keep pushing through because they feel a connection, and dream of the time to finally see one another.

It also comes down to this question   how will it end? Study shows that there's a possibility that married couples who meet online are six times more likely to divorce within the first three years than those who meet through family or friends, but it's not something that can be stereotyped. It's really difficult to generalize things at once, as it's a very case-by-case situation for some. Some managed to stay in a relationship although apart, while others can't stand the distance and being apart for so long. With this pandemic still going indefinitely, the possibility of the borders being open for most couples is nowhere to be seen. It's a different story when it comes to couples who meet during the pandemic. I see them as just two people interacting in their own bubble and remain secluded. They no longer include friends into the circle, as there's social distancing and many other restrictions in place. So, these people only know what's being presented to them online, instead of seeing how their spouses actually interact in real life. For example, how their spouse would treat service workers, or even whether they throw trash in the bin. It's a behavior we can't really see online and it becomes a complicated situation when we've been expecting to see them for so long, and being in love with this person based on an idea that was presented to us, and yet in real life they disappoint us. But again, for some it might work. For others, it might not.

[Gambas:Audio CXO]



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